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Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
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After his wife kicks him out, Alan chooses to move in with...Read more his brother Charlie.
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Pilot
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After 12 years of marriage, Judith kicks Alan out, prompting...Read more him to seek help from his older brother, Charlie, and move in with him. But Charlie struggles to adjust his laid-back lifestyle to make room for Alan’s ten-year-old son, Jake.
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Big Flappy Bastards
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Alan disciplines Jake for something that happened at...Read more Judith’s house, but Charlie is too relaxed about enforcing rules. When Jake’s actions lead to a flock of seagulls invading Charlie’s home, Charlie realizes he needs to start setting boundaries with his nephew.
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Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
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Charlie and Alan go out for drinks, and Alan attempts to...Read more reconcile with his wife. When that doesn't work, the brothers decide to face the real source of their issues—their mother.
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If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
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Charlie’s housekeeper, Berta, quits due to Alan’s behavior,...Read more but Charlie soon realizes he can’t manage without her. Meanwhile, Rose asks for Charlie’s help getting ready for a date.
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The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
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After a wild night in Las Vegas, Charlie reluctantly agrees...Read more to attend one of Jake’s football games. However, he and Alan quickly realize the unexpected benefit, meeting and dating the players' very attractive mothers.
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Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
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Charlie begins to rethink his behavior toward women when he,...Read more Alan, and Jake have to comfort their mother, Evelyn, after her breakup. Meanwhile, Charlie gives Jake some unconventional advice on how to screen phone calls.
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If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
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Jake spots a butterfly tattoo on the lower back of one of...Read more Charlie’s friends and uses her as inspiration for a school art project. This upsets his mother, Judith, though she later ends up becoming good friends with the woman.
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Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
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Judith manipulates Charlie into helping with Jake’s school...Read more musical, while Alan is caught off guard by receiving divorce papers, straining his relationship with Judith. Meanwhile, Jake feels let down as he realizes his parents are unlikely to get back together.
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Phase One, Complete
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Charlie looks for a way to break up with his new girlfriend,...Read more whom Jake has grown to love and who has also bonded with Evelyn, making Charlie fear she wants something more serious. Meanwhile, Alan and Rose grow closer over a game of Scrabble.
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Merry Thanksgiving
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When Charlie’s favorite ex-girlfriend announces her...Read more engagement, he attempts to win her back, leading to rising tensions and conflicts during the family’s Thanksgiving gathering.
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Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
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After encountering his ex-wife and her new boyfriend, Alan...Read more realizes he needs a makeover to re-enter the dating scene. However, when he goes shopping with Charlie, the two clash over what to buy.
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Camel Filters and Pheromones
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Berta brings her 16-year-old granddaughter to work, catching...Read more the eye of both Charlie and Alan and stirring up trouble. Meanwhile, Alan tries to persuade Judith that Charlie’s home is the right place for Jake.
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Sarah Like Puny Alan
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Charlie takes care of Alan as he recovers from a contagious...Read more flu, hoping to convince him to join a double date, despite Alan’s strong reluctance.
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I Can't Afford Hyenas
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When Charlie finds out his credit rating is ruined and his...Read more debts are overdue, he realizes his accountant has been utterly incompetent. Meanwhile, the accountant struggles to make Charlie grasp the seriousness of his financial troubles.
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Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
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Even though Alan warns him, Charlie falls for a wild woman...Read more named Frankie, whom he meets in the garage, leading to a series of unusual and thrilling adventures between them.
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That Was Saliva, Alan
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After Frankie convinces Charlie and Alan to let her and her...Read more eight-year-old daughter, Joanie, stay with them, she opens up about why they fled. Charlie wants them gone, but Alan insists they remain, and Joanie quickly bonds with Jake.
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Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
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Charlie takes offense when Alan names his married,...Read more responsible cousins as Jake’s guardians in the event of his death, despite their lack of intelligence.
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An Old Flame with a New Wick
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Charlie agrees to meet his ex-girlfriend, who ended their...Read more relationship years ago, leaving him heartbroken. However, he’s in for a shock when he learns she has transitioned to a man. Shortly after, Evelyn meets him and they start dating.
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I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
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Judith’s sister, Liz, shows up for Jake’s eleventh birthday...Read more party, sparking a series of unexpected events with her mix of charm and mischief.
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Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
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Jake starts behaving oddly and shuts down communication,...Read more prompting Alan and Judith to send him to a therapist after realizing he’s struggling to cope with their divorce.
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No Sniffing, No Wowing
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Fearing Jake’s custody could be at risk, Charlie tries to...Read more charm Alan’s divorce lawyer. They keep this from Alan, viewing Charlie as part of the team, but the situation ends up threatening Alan’s divorce settlement.
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My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
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While Charlie works on helping Alan overcome his recent,...Read more ongoing sleepwalking, Jake starts therapy sessions.
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Just Like Buffalo
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Charlie attempts to persuade Judith to keep allowing Jake to...Read more stay at his place on weekends, but meets opposition from her and her friends, leaving him responsible for smoothing things over.
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Can You Feel My Finger
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After a year of raising Jake, Charlie feels he's not ready...Read more for fatherhood and decides to get a vasectomy, as long as it doesn't affect his vital organs, both physically and metaphorically.
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